Even if your spouse said it's over, there's much that you can do to turn things around.
Help is on the way.
People who are successful in life, don't work harder, they work smarter. It's not that you haven't been trying hard enough; it's just that you haven't been doing the right things to get through to your spouse.
Your Divorce Busting® Coach will help you figure out exactly what you need to do or say differently to get things back on track.
Once you complete your online purchase, call our office at 303-444-7004 to schedule an appointment to speak with your Divorce Busting® coach.
Divorce Busting® Coaches offer daytime, evening and weekend appointments.
Why call a Divorce Busting® coach?
Divorce Busting® coaches are marriage "die-hards."
We get calls from people who have been in counseling for months or even years.
They have found themselves spinning their wheels and often in worse shape than when they started off.
Day after day, we hear horror stories about counselors who have announced people’s marriages “dead on arrival” after just one session!
We hear about well-meaning friends and relatives who encourage people to stop working on their marriages and go on with life.
We know you might feel as if you’re the only one in the world who believes your marriage is worth saving. If so, rest easy.
Now, you’re not alone.
We’re on your side. We believe in the sanctity of marriage and that the majority of divorces in our country are unnecessary.
We're unabashed divorce busters.
You'll never hear us tell you that you should just "move on, or get a life".
We don't get discouraged when people tell us, "But my spouse said, "I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore,” or "My spouse is having an affair and won't give it up." We see people and relationships change all the time. We know yours can too.
Divorce Busting® coaches believe in skill-building.
You aren’t born knowing how to have great relationships; you have to learn how.
We’re convinced that most divorces happen because people simply don't have the skills to find their way out of trying and frustrating marital problems.
Divorce Busting® coaches are experienced mental health professionals who can teach you the tools you need to improve communication and break free from hurtful relationship ruts.
You’ll become your own relationship expert!
Divorce Busting® coaches adhere to the principles in the books, Divorce Busting and The Divorce Remedy by Michele Weiner-Davis.
If you're not familiar with these books, you can start by reading the first chapters on divorcebusting.com.
You will quickly discover why these books have become best-sellers.
Michele’s practical, effective, step-by-step program for revitalizing relationships has helped thousands of couples save their marriages.
And to spread the word even further, Michele hand-picked and personally trained the Divorce Busting® coaches so that they could offer people one-on-one advice for applying her marriage-saving strategies.
Although Michele recommends that you read her books at some point, you don’t need to do so before calling your coach.
The sooner you make an appointment, the more quickly you’ll get things back on track.
We know you’re ready to put an end to your pain and start turning things around as soon as possible.
Your call to a Divorce Busting® coach is strictly confidential and very convenient.
Picking up a phone can be a whole lot more comfortable and private than walking into an office building for a face-to-face appointment.
Plus, it's much more convenient too.
You choose the time and date. You can be in your P.J.'s at home, in a dress or three piece suit at work, or you can call from your cell phone when you're on the run. It's entirely up to you.
Frequently Asked Questions
What will happen during a Divorce Busting® coaching consultation?
It's natural for you to have questions about your consultation, especially if you've never done this before. Your coach will want to know what you are hoping to accomplish during your conversation. The clearer you can be, the more help you'll get.
On the other hand, we've been doing this long enough to know that when your spouse drops the bomb, you might not know which end is up.
You're not thinking too clearly and goal-setting is not something you feel you can do at the moment.
Don't worry about it. Your coach will help you get a better handle on which aspects of your situation you should focus on first.
Somewhere early in your conversation, you will want to give your coach a brief description of the problems you've been experiencing.
You won't want to discuss the details of each and every argument you’ve had, it will take too much time.
Instead, offer your coach highlights of events that have led up to your current marital problems.
You should also be ready to talk about what you've tried so far to make your relationship work- which of your efforts have paid off and which haven't.
Then you and your coach will brainstorm strategies for helping you mend your marriage. Divorce Busting® coaches often give "homework assignments" (don't worry, there aren't any grades) to build on the ideas you discussed over the phone.
We know that when your spouse seems dead set against working things out, it can be really stressful for you and when you're hurting, it's hard to see the solutions that might lie right under your nose.
We'll help you gain clarity on your situation and offer you suggestions about what to do next.
What is the difference between coaching and counseling?
Coaching is different from counseling.
If you’ve ever had counseling, chances are, your counselor spent lots of time helping you understand the past and why you do what you do.
The theory is, if you’re having a problem, you can’t change until you understand the underlying psychological issues of the past and this process usually requires many sessions.
Although you might need to talk about the past to explain the problem, you will quickly be guided to what you need to do today to make things better. Our focus is on the future.
Plus, we know that change can happen quickly.
Another difference is that counselors often see themselves as “experts” who help you “fix” yourself in some way.
Divorce Busting® Coaches, on the other hand, see themselves as “teammates” and focus on your inner strengths and resources to help you achieve your personal goals.
Coaching is a perfect model for marriages in distress because when you’re in pain, you shouldn’t wallow in the past because you won’t find solutions there.
Furthermore, by focusing on your strengths rather than your short-comings, you will feel truly resilient.
What does Divorce Busting® coaching provide that I can't get from reading Michele's books?
When you talk to your Divorce Busting® coach, you will understand how the Divorce Busting® principles apply to you and your spouse.
Your coach will help you personalize the Divorce Busting® strategies and assist you in coming up with an action plan that fits your life circumstances, personality, values and problem-solving style. By the time you hang up, you will feel clear about the steps you need to take to create a relationship breakthrough.
Another advantage of Divorce Busting® coaching is that you can have your specific questions answered about the books or about the challenges you’ve been experiencing trying to mend your marriage on your own.
Additionally, your coach will be your cheerleader, offering you the emotional support and encouragement you’ll need to stick to your plan and get back on track when you've had a bad day.
In a very real sense, you'll feel that your coach is standing on the sidelines, cheering you on as you focus your energies on repairing your relationship and maintaining a stable family life in the interim.
Can all marriages be saved?
Ninety percent of the people who call our coaches have relationships that are teetering on the brink of divorce- there are affairs, separations, or divorces that are already in motion - and many of these relationships not only survive, they flourish.
However, this is not true for everyone. There are some spouses who feel that change has come too little, too late.
But years of experience has taught us that it is impossible to identify which couples will make it and which ones won't.
Some relationships that are plagued with severe problems such as chronic infidelity or substance abuse become healthy again.
Other people with only minor, petty problems end up calling it quits.
Although we know not all marriages can be saved, we approach yours with the belief that you will beat the odds.
Another reason to call. If you’re like most people who call us, you want to be thoroughly convinced that, regardless of the end result, you have tried everything humanly possible to save your marriage.
People tell us that it helps them sleep at night and ultimately saves their sanity.
But please, whatever ever you do, read this testimonial. We get letters like this all the time. Hopefully, the next one will be yours!
At the end of December 2009, I heard those dreaded words, " I love you, but I am not in love with you anymore." While I knew that things were not great between us, nothing could have prepared me to hear that after 21 years of marriage and 26 years together. A few weeks later, I realized that my husband had gotten himself a new, younger girlfriend and was planning a new life with her and her young child. I was crushed and our kids were furious with their father and worried what would happen to our family. The mid-life crisis had hit our home and it was ugly for me, our kids, and my husband's entire family because the other woman was related by marriage!
At first, all I could feel was fury at him and the other woman as she knew we were married and did not care because she had wanted him for a very long time. I did all of the wrong things. I carried on with anger, cried all of the time and acted like a total victim which is truly not my nature. I knew he felt some guilt, but my actions were pushing him away and into her arms. Someone recommended Michele's book, "Divorce Busting". I ran to the library and got it out right away and read it cover to cover one night. It gave me hope and for the first time I felt like maybe I could turn things around even though my husband told me he was done with no chance of changing his mind.
That is when I contacted Divorce Busters directly began my discussions with Jody. You will not find a kinder, more compassionate staff than Michele's. They were quick to respond and gave me hope when I felt like I was truly losing the battle for my marriage.
As good as the book is, the one to one counseling is even better. Jody was able to direct my energies into more productive strategies that really helped me turn things around. During each session, she listened to what steps I took, what results I received, and how to make changes that would get me to my goal of regaining my formerly happy marriage. There were days I wanted to throw in the towel and or kill him because he was not responding fast enough for me. That is when I went back to the books, and Jody's tips to keep going. I also tried not to take 'bad' days personally. I would take note of what I did that day to possibly bring on a less than positive result and made changes. It was kind of like my personal marriage laboratory!
Finally, this fall, he let go of the other woman and fully recommitted to our marriage. My husband tells me how much he loves me, and how glad he is that I fought for our marriage. Our kids have forgiven him and this year's Christmas was wonderful and we were a happy family. I have gone on to read all of Michele's books because they are terrific and so helpful with all of my relationships both personal and work related. They are all underlined and highlighted to death and I refer back to them often. I recommend her books and her phone counseling to everyone! Thanks again Michele and Jody for helping me to save my marriage! :-)